So Many Emotions

September 5, 2013
Well.. August was a very busy month and gosh the time is flying! Which is good because it has been a roller coaster of a ride. If you think that I haven't thought about quitting and everything is rainbows and butterflies, sorry about my pooping rainbows in all my posts ha. However, don't worry I could never quit as the thing that keeps me going here are the children and I already am sad about the day that I one day will have to say goodbye to them. Besides I cried after quitting my first job at Shopko and even worked there after my 'last' day. So in essence I hate quitting, so I hope things never come to that point.

So 'integration' is now complete, but really I think that will be an ongoing process. This past month we had our IST. I wish I could say I learned a lot from my In-service Training in Lilongwe, but things were either repetitive or made me more confused on what I should start with. Some great things at training included a field trip to the Nordine's house whom are former Peace Corps Volunteers themselves. Their property is a permaculture heaven. They have a website called Never Ending Food, and are able to produce food all year round for their family with little water and labor. The thing that is disheartening about it is the fact that they have lived there for many years and Malawians around them still do not adopt what they are doing. Malawians are stuck in the mono cropping of maize. It really made me think about agriculture differently. Don't get me wrong I think mono cropping is okay in places like America where we have the technology and resources to do so, but here in Africa if their one crop fails they starve. No such thing as crop insurance here. Another thing I learned about was making charcoal out of locally available waste products, I was all excited to share with the people and the first group of people I tell this to says its too much work! Really?! You waste your money buying charcoal which is illegal here in Malawi when you could make charcoal for free? I know there are people out there though who will love this idea and I will be happy to show them! I'm not going to let the frustration I experienced from telling that one group, stop me from telling other groups of people about this awesome opportunity. One other thing I plan on implementing is SOLID which was started by another volunteer in her community. It is the training of leaders within the communities to make an impact on the communities themselves, so that they are not just relying on me. They will learn communication and technical skills and the importance of volunteerism. So I will start that in a few weeks. While in Lilongwe we also celebrated Peace Corps 50th Anniversary in Malawi and the installation of SEED GHSP. This took place at Kamuzu Place, President Joyce Banda's residence with the Director of the Peace Corps and some other important people...who really I cannot remember. There was dancing, a live band and good food, except they ran out of cake! The best part about being in Lilongwe for the two weeks was reuniting with other Peace Corps Volunteers whom I hadn't seen since we came to our sites in May.

After two weeks I was ready to be back at site and was greeted by a swarm of children upon arrival. I received a care package from Aunt Beth and Uncle Todd for the children, Thank You! They love the coloring books, cards, Frisbees, and harmonicas! They have managed to throw the Frisbees onto the roofs and to the trees many times. I'm going to teach them origami with the colored paper once I figure how to do it. Thank you to my sister for sending a care package too! With the gifts the children received, I received the gift of a cold through their germs, apparently my immune system forgot about them. So now that I am back from training I can begin projects! I will be working with the HIV/AIDS support group with medicinal gardening and begin planting moringa with them in the morning. I actually never knew any one with HIV before Malawi and until my friend told me about the group I didn't know any Malawians who had it either because its not something I was going to ask. I definitely got all emotional on my walk back home when finding out all the people who are affected by HIV in my community. Next week I start planting trees with the communities. The following week I am back in Lilongwe for Grassroots Soccer Training, which will teach the youth about HIV/AIDS and Malaria. I met with several youth organizations and we will be having a soccer tournament in which youth will learn about HIV/AIDS and help take the stigmatism away from those who do have HIV. I also may be working with Home of Hope which is an orphanage in Mchinji, which is under the Raising Malawi Organization by Madonna which is kind of cool.

I attended a funeral in my village this past Monday. There is dancing at funerals, however it was still a sad time. Hundreds of people attended. Maybe its an American thing, but I really have never seen a man cry until at this funeral. Wait... I once saw my dad crying while watching the movie Fireproof, it was awkward so I walked out before he saw me see him ha. Yep, it has to be an American thing because really even at funerals there are not as many people crying as I saw here. They don't silent cry here, its weeping and screaming and wailing, it made me emotional, I silent cried and tried to make sure no one saw me doing so. The woman was 73 years old, I just thought there would be more hip, hip, hooray's because she had a long life and since the life expectancy here is much shorter, I read somewhere that it is now 36 years old in Malawi. She must have been a great person, mother, and grandmother. Or its just me as I just never really knew my grandparents as they passed before I have a memory to remember such a funeral. It was a cultural experience for sure, a 6 hour long one and that crying mentioned above lasted the entire time. Today, I was in a jovial mood after planning my first 'lesson' on tree planting...I actually used a lesson plan which was probably why I was jovial because all the Facebook statuses of my friends who are starting to teach this year also has a certain emotional effect on me. I just have to remember I decided to come here instead of taking a teaching at job home right away, but teaching here is still teaching, which I decided is my niche here. I am also pretty dang happy that my student email expired as I no longer get the updates of all the teaching positions be posted, so no more looking at teaching positions until at least February 2015.

To commemorate my completing 6 months of Peace Corps I bought a hot plate to cook with, this included emotions of joy when thinking I'd no longer have to cook over a fire. Emotions of #$2?! when 2 hours ago I started my wiring on fire as the hot plate is too strong for my electrical and I am now without electricity, at least until I get it fixed. I was warned it was probably not strong enough and I should of took the hint when the lights dimmed when I turned on the hot plate, or that cracking noise was a fire and not some creature scattering about. And yet despite this sometimes roller coaster ride, (which I hate roller coasters...I've cried in line before even getting on one in the past) I thank God for this opportunity to be here and the strength He provides me to overcome whatever comes my way because without Him, I'm pretty sure I would have quit already.  Until next time, Tiwonana!

Other Emotions:
-Happiness for all my friends and family getting married
-Sadness for not being able to attend those important events
-Excitement every time I get a letter in the mail!
-Fear of spiders and the fact I will probably never overcome this phobia
-My Anticipation for the Game Count next month!
-And all other emotions including: love, anger, discovery, wonder, relaxation, patience, nervousness...yes I looked these up on Wikipedia, I really didn't know these were considered emotions ha